When I Look in Your Eyes - 1/6
by NancyD1
Summary: Ginger and Toby consider each other - First in this series


Title: When I Look in Your Eyes  
Characters: Toby / Ginger   
Rating: I will have to make it NC-17 - because of future segments!  
Disclaimer: No money made here....  
Author's Notes: Can't believe I'm doing this.... I picked this messy relationship because I've been there myself...I'm a virgin writer, so any constructive advice, etc. would be appreciated...So, here we go...  
  
1 - Ginger - Hopeless  
  
"Ginger!"  
  
Damn! He found me. I cringed inwardly at the thought of the ensuing conversation.   
  
"Ginger! I thought you said you were getting me the Hammond Bill!" My boss appeared at the copy room door. I keep my head down, hoping to avoid looking at the seething Toby Ziegler, which was nothing new to me. He was always up in arms about something.   
  
"Sorry Toby," I say, not looking up, but stop short from offering an excuse. Never mind that this copy project was for his meeting in ten minutes. Toby doesn't "do" excuses. "I will get it to you."  
  
"When I ask you for something, I expect to get it, immediately. I thought you would have learned that by now," Toby said.  
  
Tears spring to my eyes, but I breath deeply to keep myself from completely breaking down. My humiliation would be complete if Toby ever saw me cry.  
  
"Of course," I said carefully, trying to control the tremor in my voice.  
  
"I need it. Now!" Toby barked, and with that, he was gone.  
  
Then the tears came. Fortunately, none of the other assistants came in at that time. I was tired of their pitying remarks and looks whenever I had an "episode" like this. Most of the time I could hold in my feelings but this not time. Maybe because I had been thinking about him again and not just as my boss.   
  
How could I forget such a simple thing? I scold myself. The only thing he remembers about me is my mistakes.  
  
But there is no time for self-pity in the White House, so pull myself together and hurry back to my desk.  
  
  
The bill having been found, (in Toby's office, I might add), I finished the copy project just in time for the Domestic Affairs meeting and hand it out still warm. I hear murmurs of thanks from most everyone.   
  
"Thank you, Ginger," Chief of Staff Leo McGarry says. He smiles and pats my hand as I set his copy on the table. He's such a sweetheart. I give return his smile, hoping he doesn't notice my red eyes. Sensing someone watching me, I look up quickly to see Toby standing in the doorway, his dark eyes glittering. Blushing, I hurry from the room.  
  
**********  
2. Toby - Thoughts of her - (a few hours later)  
  
"Toby?"  
  
Someone was talking to me. "Toby? Are you coming to this meeting?" Sam Seaborn was at the door, interrupting my thoughts on the Kapland Proposal. Except that I wasn't thinking about the proposal. I was thinking about Leo and Ginger in the meeting earlier that day.  
  
"Yes, be there in a moment," I say, focusing on the paragraph in front of me, realizing that I had read the same said paragraph for the last half hour.  
  
"Fine, see you there," Sam said, "I'll tell Ginger to not remind you again," and he was gone.  
  
Pull yourself together! I mutter to myself as I gather my things for my meeting. Why are you feeling so protective of her? She's only your assistant and Leo's old enough to be her father. Why should you care if other men find her attractive? She's a beautiful woman and if a weathered old dog like McGarry can see that...I look up and see Sam and Ginger talking at her desk. She is laughing at something Sam is telling her and looking at him with adoring eyes. Damn Seaborn charm!   
  
"Ginger!" I shout from my desk, knowing I was breaking up their tête-à-tête.  
  
She appears at my desk. "Yes, Toby," she said, the smile still hovering on her lips.  
  
"I, uh - " I realized that I had no reason for demanding her presence other than getting her away from Sam. "Er - I need more tape."  
  
Ginger tried to hide a smile. "I thought I put extra rolls in you desk drawer," she said, coming around my desk, opening up a drawer. As she bent over, I could smell the subtle fragrance of her hair and noticed her blouse gape open in the front, giving me an excellent view of her lacy bra and cleav-  
  
Toby Ziegler! You letch! My head jerked up looking for the voice, realizing it was my conscience.   
  
I jumped out of my chair. "I'll be in my meeting!" and stormed out, hoping I could erase any memory of the blouse and its content.  
  
  
For the next hour or so, I tried concentrating on Leo and Sam as colleagues. But all I could think of was Leo's hand on Ginger's and Sam flirting with her. I'm shocked to realize that I'm jealous of a divorced ex-alcoholic who's old enough to be her father and man who is infamous for his sexual exploits with a call girl. Neither of them deserves my Ginger. Over my dead body.  
  
**********  
  
  
3 - Ginger - Puzzled Thoughts - (later that night)  
  
It was almost eleven o'clock when I finally got home which was a little later than usual due to Toby being on a rampage about something and wouldn't allow me to go to the cafeteria, much less home. My roommate Kate was already asleep so I had no distractions from my thoughts on the day and think of Toby and how he looks at me. How do I phrase the moment, express the feeling when I catch him. I want to know what it is. Desire? Comfort? Is he remembering moments past?  
  
Before and after the campaign, Toby has this habit of roaring around the office, riding me (and the rest of the staff) to the point of resignation. But then he will appear out of nowhere at the strangest times to ask for odd things, like the tape this afternoon. Sometimes he just wanders out of his office to my desk and then back again, like he forgot what he was going to say.   
  
This isn't the first time he's exhibited strange behavior. It's been happening since I met him, although for the longest time thought that I was imagining things until one particular trip.  
  
I think it all began the night he drove me back to my hotel. It was after several days of successful campaigning and the staff was celebrating by drinking at a local bar. Donna, my usual roommate on these trips, was having one of her involved arguments with Josh and couldn't (or wouldn't) take me back to the hotel. Toby suddenly appeared, offering me a ride. I had never been alone with him, much less held a protracted conversation with the man. Needless to say it was an uncomfortable ride.  
  
I thought he was being chivalrous when he walked me to my hotel floor. But then he muttered, "I'm at the end of the hall, if you need anything." And then he was gone, leaving me to puzzle over his obscure remark.  
  
It wasn't until later that night that I understood what he meant and my world turned upside down.  
  
**********  
  
4 - Toby - A little later that evening  
  
I allowed myself the luxury of a little late night television. There had been progress on the Hammond Bill that day and for once I felt a little relaxed. Jay Leno signed off and Conan O'Brien came on. One look at Conan's hair reminded me of Ginger and I hoped she got home safely. I really should see her home when we work these late nights. But that's how you started this mess, my conscience reminded me.   
  
It was in some small city in the West. We had put in a successful three-day non-stop campaign blitz and celebrated in a bar to drink, smoke, argue, and connect. I was thinking of leaving when I overheard Donna say, "Ginger, I'm not ready to go yet. Not until I get Josh to change his mind about this." Ginger looked tired and resigned.  
  
I don't know what possessed me but I said, "I'm going back to the hotel. I could give you a ride."  
  
Donna answered for her friend. "Of course Ginger will go with you. Thanks Toby."   
  
We drove back to the hotel in near silence. I couldn't speak I was so nervous. I knew who she was, but had never talked to her, other than bark some order or another at her. She was the only woman on the campaign trail to interest me, which spoke volumes, as my ex was usually the only woman that I thought I could have in my life. Ginger really didn't remind me of Andie. She was different, with her red hair and long legs and beautiful hands. Andie had pudgy fingers, if I remember correctly. I couldn't recall the last time a woman made me nervous.  
  
I walked Ginger to her room and said good night. Again my mouth spoke for me, "I'm down the hall. If you need to anything."  
  
Back in my hotel room, I considered my words. I knew exactly what I was asking for, what I wanted. I gave Ginger an open invitation to visit me in my room. It had been a long time since I spent any sort of time with a woman, and felt foolish at this boyish attempt to seduce her.  
  
Well, I tried reasoning with myself, she was a grown woman and if she wanted to spend the night with me, why not?   
  
About an hour later, there was a knock on my door. Without bothering to check, I opened it, only to find Josh and Sam. Without a word, I slammed the door. It wasn't until that moment, that it occurred to me that maybe Ginger didn't want me.  
  
***********  
  
I turned off the television and considered the darkness. Never mind. It's better that she wasn't there. No messy conversations or post-coital awkwardness.  
  
But then why do I still feel disappointed?  
  
  
  
To Be Continued (?)- It will live up to the Rating!   
  
Constructive feedback please! (Be kind, it's my first)  



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